Can’t always see

There is so much to do here. Yet some days I feel like I’m not doing much. This week I was faced with the conviction and harsh reality (again) that it just is not about me. I think I was having a little pity party of sorts. I was feeling like I just didn’t know how God was using me, or the kids. We don’t go to an orphanage every day. We don’t go up and do crafts with the kids at the hospital very often…or, that’s right, we haven’t done that yet at all. We don’t walk down the streets looking for people to share the Gospel with on a daily basis. I was plagued with these “don’ts.” But my problem was, I was not seeing the “dos.” One very big thing in our home since we’ve gotten here is the journey and adjustment of our oldest son. He has been tested and tried, he has had many days being sent to his bed for the majority of the time. He has rebelled against our instruction and discipline so much more than he ever really had back in the States. He has even had moments of outright rebellion against God. But people have been praying. And God has been working. The past 10 days or so we began to see a really encouraging change in him. He was seeking the Lord. On his own initiative. It is not like his behavior has completely changed, but we have definitely been encouraged that God is working in him. Caring for, schooling, and discipling these children takes so much of my energy and time, sometimes I forget that it is a huge part of this mission. A vitally important part. We pray desperately that these six will be warriors for the Lord in their own right…kids, teenagers, and eventually adults who love and serve Him, sharing the saving news of the Gospel with many in their lives and time on this earth. We are investing in that now. Even though it seems some days that I am “just a mom,” spending my whole day correcting & disciplining the same child for the thousandth time, that is the Lord’s call on my life. I pray I can find contentment and joy in that, no matter how tiring it may be.

Another thing I forgot is that God is working, doing a million things I cannot see, all the time. It is not about me. I went up to the nursery this week to see if there were any babies who needed to be held (Tom was home for a rare afternoon, so I headed up there). While I was there holding some healthy twins, who happened to be waiting to go home, there were 2 babies who were nearing the end of their short little lives. The nurses and doctors were working on them tirelessly. I could tell they would be with Jesus soon. But as I observed all this from the sidelines, just comforting 2 babies who were waiting for their mama to come feed them, I prayed. I prayed for those souls, and I prayed for their families. I knew there was nothing I could do to help in any other way. And I found myself realizing that it is easy to slip into a mentality of wanting to be productive on this mission field, to be used “effectively,” to do lots of amazing stuff… It was then and there that I was humbled before the Lord. I prayed for this mission to never be about me or what I could do to “save” someone or do something awesome here at Tenwek. But may it always be about the Lord. All for His glory. He is sovereign over every life, every breath. May it always be about Him, even on days that I feel are filled with the ordinary, behind the scenes kind of days.

I don’t know exactly how God is using and will use us here. I may never know how my prayers have been answered. Tom may never see the impact he has on some of his patients. But we do know that God is at work, and He is faithful to work in and through us as we submit our lives to Him. May pride never get in the way. It’s not about the awesome stuff we can show while we’re here. It is about Jesus, refining us, and working to draw people to himself all the time.
Here are a few pictures from the past couple weeks:
Giraffe center in Nairobi.

Giraffes are amazing! We were so thankful for this opportunity to see them up close. This one, named “Betty,” only bumped into 2 of our children and almost knocked them down. She was feisty!

A BIG thank you to our church family back home who sent a package full of cards for each of our kids. That was so special and they all have their cards tucked away in their rooms to look at often 🙂
 Another big thank you to Aunt Laura, Uncle Scott and cousins who sent a package with a Nerf gun for each of our boys (and stuffed animals for the girls). They were thrilled! Now they can be in on the Nerf wars that happen all over the place among the mk’s here, and they can even sneak a game in with their Daddy now and then!

These 3 youngest are enjoying each day to the fullest…

The girls and I went to a tea party this week with the other little girls here. It was a sweet time.

David wanted to show the smallest chameleon we’ve found yet! (It’s on his thumb, look real hard.)

We had the amazing opportunity to go out to dinner this weekend…by ourselves! It was unexpected and so wonderful. Tom has had a very busy and rough week at the hospital and some (brave) friends/neighbors of ours offered to watch our kids. A date here is certainly different experience (there are really only 2 places to choose from and the food is…interesting), but it was much appreciated just the same!