Shifting shadows

“Holiness, holiness is what I long for. Holiness, holiness is what I need.”

These are lyrics to a worship song I can still remember singing at summer camp years ago. I didn’t know much of what it meant back then, but I knew it was true. Fast forward many years and on any given day I might start out doing pretty well. I have my quiet time with the Lord. I’m feeling filled up, ready to face the day, seeking to walk in holiness. Then a child slams into me as he chases his brother through the kitchen and my coffee goes down, a cup of milk spills off the counter and boom. I’m no longer feeling the holiness. I’m raising my voice and trying to catch up with the discipline that probably should have happened a few minutes before the spilling happened. I might be wishing my children would wake up with a little less energy, and would have attitudes like so-and-so’s kids probably exhibit all the time–loving, calm, and ready to help at any given moment (haha). I’m annoyed that this cleaning up is going to take a while, and actually involve some floor cleaner, and then I start shifting to all the things I need to get done after breakfast and I feel the anxiety rise. How can I possibly get anything done…? And how can I shift back to that place I was just a few minutes ago? How did I get this far into defeat in such a small amount of time?!

Or it happens with one of our children. They seem like they’re having a pretty good day, then something happens to change the course, something sets them off. Maybe they lost something or they ask to do a certain thing and the answer is no. Then, boom! They’re blowing up, raging about how we never let them do anything, how they’re never going to find the thing they lost and it’s all someone else’s fault, and by the way they don’t even want to be in this family anymore anyway. Wow! That can seriously happen in our house in a matter of seconds some days. It is mind-boggling. We sometimes just look at each other and say, “What just happened?!” In a split second, words are said, things are done that could truly damage a relationship and a heart.

We humans are just like shifting shadows. We can change with the wind, affected by the circumstances of the day. But thankfully our God is not like this at all. He is a Rock. He is unchanging. He is not loving one minute, and hateful the next. The Bible says his steadfast love never changes. His holiness is a sure thing.

So what am I to do? I long for the day that the ups and downs will be no more. No more tantrums (by adults or children) or discouragement or pity parties–no more sin–just goodness and beauty and truth forever! Until that day, I am learning over and over again the basic truth of anchoring my life to the One who does not waver like shifting shadows.

According to dictionary.com, an anchor can be defined as “a person or thing that provides stability or confidence in an otherwise uncertain situation.”

Holiness can be defined as “a state of being holy, set apart, dedicated or consecrated to God.”

In my every day moments I have to make a conscious choice to anchor myself and to be dedicated to the Lord, or else I am swayed every which way. It is through a series of seemingly small choices each day…a small choice to turn around a stressful moment with a gentle response or to exit the room if I need an attitude shift, or to pray. It’s the little choices to stay the course, and to stand on the promises of God and what He has convicted me of and called me to do. In my flesh I can give up in about 2 seconds (and I sometimes try to). I am so weak. In Christ, I have the strength to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). It’s countercultural and seemingly impossible, but only possible in Him.

So praise the Lord you and I don’t have to settle for this…

but can live a life of this…

anchored to the One who gives ultimate joy, peace and assurance, and leads in holiness that we desperately long for and need.