Sowing seeds

This is a time of waiting in more ways than one. I think if we counted, we are waiting on at least 10 practical things to happen before we can get to Kenya. And then there are the heart things. I’m learning that maybe our souls are always waiting. We long for certain things to be different. We long for things to be made right, be made whole. We long for our prayers to be answered. I think that longing and waiting are ok. It is not easy, but it gives us a glimpse of our true longing that God has placed in our hearts, for eternity.

Sowing seeds in the form of love and the gospel is a lifelong pursuit for a believer. It is a lifelong pursuit for a Christian parent. Sometimes there is no fruit to be seen. There is not much evidence of their belief. There is no effort on their part to pursue further truth. But we wait. We wait and we pray and we trust. I’m not very good at that. But God keeps teaching me.

He is reminding me that He created the farmer, the farm, the dirt, and the seeds. I get to play a role on His farm, but He is the One who has all the wisdom, and knows exactly how to bring the good harvest. The role I play in my kids’ lives is important, but the Lord writes their stories. I’m wrestling with that these days. I see small glimpses of hope, but that big picture still sometimes looks pretty bleak on any given day. So I give them over to Him again. I thank Him for each of their unique lives, and for their strong personalities, and for the role we get to play. And I pray and wait some more.

Lord, may you be the author and perfecter of our faith, of each one of our children’s faith. And may I be content and faithful to (imperfectly) sow the seeds, water them, and leave the growth to You alone.