Double Life

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…and be thankful.” ~Colossians 3:15

Some days are such chaos around here. Tom is at the hospital early, and could be there all day and throughout the night at times. I’m here holding down the fort with discipline, school and managing hot water leaks, chickens pecking each other, cows in the yard, or whatever other various issues come my way in a day. He occasionally makes it home for lunch and might walk in the door to find me with my head in my hands, desperately pleading for mercy or wisdom for a certain situation with a certain child. Then he might tell me of the family that he had to counsel because their healthy-last-week teenage daughter is now about to die. There’s nothing else that can be done, and they’re not real sure why. Or he might relay a story of spending hours of his morning resuscitating babies born premature, and against all odds, but because of God’s mercy, they are surviving.

This dichotomy might not be that different from families in the states where one spouse is working in the medical field, but somehow it seems more intense here. Just the brokenness all around. The spiritual warfare that is so evident. The devil doesn’t like what we’re doing. He wants to increase the chaos at every turn. He wants me to feel guilty or like I’m not doing something that matters as much as the life and death decisions and situations in the hospital. He wants Tom to feel depleted, like he’s not really doing any good at the hospital or at home. But we have to stand on something that is greater. We have to believe that whether children are dying or rebelling, their souls always matter and God is at work. Whether it is trudging through a writing assignment while trying to instill integrity and diligence, or desperately searching for that unit of blood needed to save the life of a baby, let us not grow weary of doing good. Let us trust that the Lord reigns, we need Him, and He is our wisdom, our hope, and our Rock.

My soul often cannot help but feel the turmoil of this place. The intensity sometimes feels crippling and I long for His peace. But I am learning and relearning to give thanks in all things, to live one moment at a time, and to let the peace of Christ rule even when it feels like all might crumble.

Our family cannot be more thankful for your continued prayers and support as we press on, trusting Him for the souls of our children and the people of Kenya that He puts in our path.