hope

Quiet confidence

There are seasons of life. There is time for action. For speaking out. And there is time for reservation. For stillness. For quiet confidence. I admit I tend to love those times of action. Give me a list and I’ll check off those boxes and feel great doing it! Give me an idea of some truth to say, I’ll speak it, always with good intention of course (wink, wink). But through many mistakes, I’m learning that there are maybe more times than I like to admit for quiet confidence, for the strong faith that doesn’t have to be seen or heard by anybody, and for prayer.

We have asked for prayer a lot these past 2 years. We are speaking to people all the time who want to pray, and then they may ask what else they can do to help. We are so grateful. But what if prayer was enough? Is that ok to say? I struggle to believe it. So often, I pray…and then try to figure out a way to act. Maybe something I say will make a difference, maybe something I do. Definitely I think God calls us and leads us to act and speak in many different circumstances. But maybe He also wants to do a giant work in our lives and hearts in the quiet confidence of praying boldly and big, and then leaving the prayers at His feet. Not having to act or speak at that moment. Maybe He is reminding me to take time to just let my faith grow.

I’m learning that it doesn’t depend on me. I’m a vessel that God can use. But it’s HIM. He works. He acts. He speaks. It feels freeing to know that. I can be available to act and speak, but also rest in knowing that there is One greater than me who actually holds all things in place.

We all have big things to ask of God. Some tangible, circumstantial things, some that are more hidden, heart things. Sometimes we ask for ourselves, and many times for other people. He knows. He hears. And He is sovereign over it all.

Please continue to pray as the Lord leads you, for our family to learn all that God is teaching us right now, for us to be able to get back to Kenya in God’s perfect time, and for us to have that quiet confidence in all things that God is working for our good and His ultimate glory.

Asante sana (thank you) 🇰🇪

Posted: September 30, 2018
Under: Family, hope, mission, Prayer, refining
By: Emily

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Shifting shadows

“Holiness, holiness is what I long for. Holiness, holiness is what I need.”

These are lyrics to a worship song I can still remember singing at summer camp years ago. I didn’t know much of what it meant back then, but I knew it was true. Fast forward many years and on any given day I might start out doing pretty well. I have my quiet time with the Lord. I’m feeling filled up, ready to face the day, seeking to walk in holiness. Then a child slams into me as he chases his brother through the kitchen and my coffee goes down, a cup of milk spills off the counter and boom. I’m no longer feeling the holiness. I’m raising my voice and trying to catch up with the discipline that probably should have happened a few minutes before the spilling happened. I might be wishing my children would wake up with a little less energy, and would have attitudes like so-and-so’s kids probably exhibit all the time–loving, calm, and ready to help at any given moment (haha). I’m annoyed that this cleaning up is going to take a while, and actually involve some floor cleaner, and then I start shifting to all the things I need to get done after breakfast and I feel the anxiety rise. How can I possibly get anything done…? And how can I shift back to that place I was just a few minutes ago? How did I get this far into defeat in such a small amount of time?!

Or it happens with one of our children. They seem like they’re having a pretty good day, then something happens to change the course, something sets them off. Maybe they lost something or they ask to do a certain thing and the answer is no. Then, boom! They’re blowing up, raging about how we never let them do anything, how they’re never going to find the thing they lost and it’s all someone else’s fault, and by the way they don’t even want to be in this family anymore anyway. Wow! That can seriously happen in our house in a matter of seconds some days. It is mind-boggling. We sometimes just look at each other and say, “What just happened?!” In a split second, words are said, things are done that could truly damage a relationship and a heart.

We humans are just like shifting shadows. We can change with the wind, affected by the circumstances of the day. But thankfully our God is not like this at all. He is a Rock. He is unchanging. He is not loving one minute, and hateful the next. The Bible says his steadfast love never changes. His holiness is a sure thing.

So what am I to do? I long for the day that the ups and downs will be no more. No more tantrums (by adults or children) or discouragement or pity parties–no more sin–just goodness and beauty and truth forever! Until that day, I am learning over and over again the basic truth of anchoring my life to the One who does not waver like shifting shadows.

According to dictionary.com, an anchor can be defined as “a person or thing that provides stability or confidence in an otherwise uncertain situation.”

Holiness can be defined as “a state of being holy, set apart, dedicated or consecrated to God.”

In my every day moments I have to make a conscious choice to anchor myself and to be dedicated to the Lord, or else I am swayed every which way. It is through a series of seemingly small choices each day…a small choice to turn around a stressful moment with a gentle response or to exit the room if I need an attitude shift, or to pray. It’s the little choices to stay the course, and to stand on the promises of God and what He has convicted me of and called me to do. In my flesh I can give up in about 2 seconds (and I sometimes try to). I am so weak. In Christ, I have the strength to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). It’s countercultural and seemingly impossible, but only possible in Him.

So praise the Lord you and I don’t have to settle for this…

but can live a life of this…

anchored to the One who gives ultimate joy, peace and assurance, and leads in holiness that we desperately long for and need.

Posted: July 18, 2018
Under: hope, refining
By: Emily

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Double blessing

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes He gives us things we did not even ask for, did not even know we needed.

When we got back from Kenya, Tom needed a job. We were looking for something temporary, something basically to pay the bills & save for the year or so that we were here, until we got back to Tenwek. We searched hard for that temporary work. But God very clearly and firmly closed that door. Then we remembered a company he worked with a while back, thought maybe they’d hire him to do some consulting for a while. He went to lunch with a few people from that company, and then another lunch, and another. The rest is history. As God would have it, that was the start of launching a Christian, missions-minded pediatric practice (Triad Pediatrics) in the area we live in in North Carolina. It is a dream Tom has had for years, but not something he was actively pursuing since we realized our calling to Kenya. A dear friend & mentor recently deemed it our “double blessing.” God has called us to help with this local practice, and to serve Him in overseas missions. Both are important. Both are needed. Both have been laid before us clearly as God’s will for our family. And yes, it does seem totally crazy!

Maybe with a double blessing comes double challenges? I won’t lie, it has been A LOT of work to raise support, get our feet on the ground as new missionaries, AND help start a medical practice from the ground up, all in a year’s time. And we’re not done! God has provided in so many ways. The company Tom is working for is an immense blessing to us. God has provided the strength and energy we need in times of extremely overwhelmed moments. He has provided many people to encourage us and pray for us. He has provided reassurance that this is His plan, and peace that He will continue to provide and pave the way. It has been hard and discouraging at times to be in the unknown in so many details of our life, but we have never truly been left in need. God has and is meeting us right where we are, so faithfully. He is drawing us so much closer to Him and each other; He is strengthening us through prayer and His Word. If we didn’t have the valleys of this season, maybe we wouldn’t be as aware of or thankful for the mountaintops. It is in the challenges that we’ve seen and experienced God as our true portion and strength, our provider in every way.

To us, it’s a testimony of what God is doing in our lives, so we want to document it. His mysterious, sovereign ways are above all, good. May He receive all the glory for this double blessing. This is nothing we could do on our own. He knows the whole story, and every detail.

We’d appreciate your prayers for Triad Pediatrics to thrive and be a light for Christ in our hometown; we’d also appreciate prayers for continued provision so that we can get back to Kenya, to serve the Lord at Tenwek Hospital as soon as possible.

For more information on how to contact or support us, please click on our “Join the journey” page at the top.

Posted: June 18, 2018
Under: hope, mission, refining
By: Emily

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