mission

Can’t always see

There is so much to do here. Yet some days I feel like I’m not doing much. This week I was faced with the conviction and harsh reality (again) that it just is not about me. I think I was having a little pity party of sorts. I was feeling like I just didn’t know how God was using me, or the kids. We don’t go to an orphanage every day. We don’t go up and do crafts with the kids at the hospital very often…or, that’s right, we haven’t done that yet at all. We don’t walk down the streets looking for people to share the Gospel with on a daily basis. I was plagued with these “don’ts.” But my problem was, I was not seeing the “dos.” One very big thing in our home since we’ve gotten here is the journey and adjustment of our oldest son. He has been tested and tried, he has had many days being sent to his bed for the majority of the time. He has rebelled against our instruction and discipline so much more than he ever really had back in the States. He has even had moments of outright rebellion against God. But people have been praying. And God has been working. The past 10 days or so we began to see a really encouraging change in him. He was seeking the Lord. On his own initiative. It is not like his behavior has completely changed, but we have definitely been encouraged that God is working in him. Caring for, schooling, and discipling these children takes so much of my energy and time, sometimes I forget that it is a huge part of this mission. A vitally important part. We pray desperately that these six will be warriors for the Lord in their own right…kids, teenagers, and eventually adults who love and serve Him, sharing the saving news of the Gospel with many in their lives and time on this earth. We are investing in that now. Even though it seems some days that I am “just a mom,” spending my whole day correcting & disciplining the same child for the thousandth time, that is the Lord’s call on my life. I pray I can find contentment and joy in that, no matter how tiring it may be.

Another thing I forgot is that God is working, doing a million things I cannot see, all the time. It is not about me. I went up to the nursery this week to see if there were any babies who needed to be held (Tom was home for a rare afternoon, so I headed up there). While I was there holding some healthy twins, who happened to be waiting to go home, there were 2 babies who were nearing the end of their short little lives. The nurses and doctors were working on them tirelessly. I could tell they would be with Jesus soon. But as I observed all this from the sidelines, just comforting 2 babies who were waiting for their mama to come feed them, I prayed. I prayed for those souls, and I prayed for their families. I knew there was nothing I could do to help in any other way. And I found myself realizing that it is easy to slip into a mentality of wanting to be productive on this mission field, to be used “effectively,” to do lots of amazing stuff… It was then and there that I was humbled before the Lord. I prayed for this mission to never be about me or what I could do to “save” someone or do something awesome here at Tenwek. But may it always be about the Lord. All for His glory. He is sovereign over every life, every breath. May it always be about Him, even on days that I feel are filled with the ordinary, behind the scenes kind of days.

I don’t know exactly how God is using and will use us here. I may never know how my prayers have been answered. Tom may never see the impact he has on some of his patients. But we do know that God is at work, and He is faithful to work in and through us as we submit our lives to Him. May pride never get in the way. It’s not about the awesome stuff we can show while we’re here. It is about Jesus, refining us, and working to draw people to himself all the time.
Here are a few pictures from the past couple weeks:
Giraffe center in Nairobi.

Giraffes are amazing! We were so thankful for this opportunity to see them up close. This one, named “Betty,” only bumped into 2 of our children and almost knocked them down. She was feisty!

A BIG thank you to our church family back home who sent a package full of cards for each of our kids. That was so special and they all have their cards tucked away in their rooms to look at often 🙂
Another big thank you to Aunt Laura, Uncle Scott and cousins who sent a package with a Nerf gun for each of our boys (and stuffed animals for the girls). They were thrilled! Now they can be in on the Nerf wars that happen all over the place among the mk’s here, and they can even sneak a game in with their Daddy now and then!

These 3 youngest are enjoying each day to the fullest…

The girls and I went to a tea party this week with the other little girls here. It was a sweet time.

David wanted to show the smallest chameleon we’ve found yet! (It’s on his thumb, look real hard.)

We had the amazing opportunity to go out to dinner this weekend…by ourselves! It was unexpected and so wonderful. Tom has had a very busy and rough week at the hospital and some (brave) friends/neighbors of ours offered to watch our kids. A date here is certainly different experience (there are really only 2 places to choose from and the food is…interesting), but it was much appreciated just the same!

Posted: March 19, 2017
Under: Family, mission, refining
By: Emily

Read Me 2 Comments

The beautiful and the terrible

We’ve been in Kenya for 3 weeks. That has been more than enough time to learn that this mission is infinitely bigger than my small mind could have possibly imagined.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).

I also didn’t realize how big my idols were. We had asked the Lord to strip away everything that we rely on other than Him… and He is faithful. There have been the small, silly idols like a good cup of coffee, a consistent warm shower with plenty of water pressure, my comfortable familiar pillows, reliable Internet. Then there are the challenges that are a little harder to swallow like mud pouring from the water faucet and shower, aggressive mosquitoes that may or may not be carrying malaria, my children who refuse to wear shoes (demanding to be dewormed very soon), the anxiety of wearing a pager that could go off at any moment, my inability to communicate basic information to my patients, an unreliable internet.

Finally we come to the ones that would be truly unbearable without the sustaining hand of God. There are quite a few children at the hospital that I simply don’t have a clue what is wrong with them. Whether it is lack of knowledge on my part, lack of availability of needed tests, or lack of necessary medications, our team is only left with what should always have been our first option… prayer to a loving God. Even more difficult is when we have the necessary tests or treatment but the family cannot afford it. I find myself avoiding a “very expensive” 1400 shilling ($14 usd) test because the family might have to sell a cow or their property if I am not careful about the cost, and that could potentially cripple the entire family. As I type this, there is an otherwise healthy 17 year old boy in the High Dependency Unit (HDU) on a ventilator because of Guillan Barre Syndrome (GBS). GBS is a progressive muscle weakness that starts in the hands and feet and slowly works its way up the body until it paralyzes the muscles that allow you to breath. He was carried in, unable to walk or move his arms. Within 12 hours of arrival, we had to put a tube in his throat in order to breathe for him or he would have died. The terrible part of this story is that we actually had to consider NOT intubating him. (Which would have meant certain death). Fortunately, we were told that the family is from another region and has camels that they can sell to pay for the “expensive” life saving treatment. Additionally, the hospital (which I’ve been told is better equipped than most in Kenya) only has 5 working ventilators and can only commit to one long-term ventilated patient at a time. I am glad I did not have to make that terrible decision. We hope and pray that within 2-3 weeks his lungs will be strong enough to support him and allow for a full recovery.

Then there are the ones that don’t survive. In the three weeks I’ve been at Tenwek, I’ve seen nearly one patient die every day. From newborn babies with overwhelming infections to older kids with swollen, damaged hearts from Rheumatic Heart Disease (an easily preventable disease that we never see in the US anymore), we do our best with what we have and give them back to the weeping parents and the God who gave them life. My idols of self-reliance, nearly limitless medical resources, reasonably good communication skills, and the illusion that life isn’t really that fragile are slowly and painfully dying. It is terrible.

It is just like our God to reveal His beauty in the midst of the terrible. Kenya is beautiful. The Kenyan people are wonderful. My team of young Kenyan clinical and medical officers is absolutely amazing. They are bright, hard working, and deeply care about our patients… and they desire to love and serve our God. Just today (Saturday), our family had the privilege of sharing a meal with a more than generous but impoverished Kenyan family with a small farm. (We think they sacrificed their own food for tomorrow just to give us some today…more on that story later.) My wife and kids love me and forgive me even when I sin against them. I know we have amazing family and friends at home praying for us constantly. I have seen children survive when I was convinced they couldn’t. I have sat with a father, after the death of his beloved daughter, as He expressed his unwavering hope that he knew he would see her again. And this is our Hope, that our loving God holds life and death in His hands. All of our days are numbered, and no one breathes their first or last breath without our sovereign Lord’s consent. We may try to convince ourselves it doesn’t, but because of the curse of sin, each day on this earth holds terror. Do not despair, there is coming a day when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more” (Rev 21:4a). Our Lord is returning to replace the terrible with the beautiful. Let’s lay our idols aside and live every day without fear of the terror it may hold, for the beauty that God is revealing is eternal.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

Posted: February 6, 2017
Under: mission, refining
By: Tom

Read Me 5 Comments

Pictures & Prayers

Well, if we can get wifi to work for more than a few minutes we will send a little update! I thought I might periodically just do a bunch of pictures and maybe add in some prayer requests throughout also. So these are some from this past week, starting with a few from our first walk up the hill to the roadside stands by the hospital (they call them “dukas”).

This is literally only steps from our door. True poverty. No running water, no electricity in most homes. Roaming animals of all kinds. Please pray for these people, our neighbors, that we would love them and know how to best minister to them. There is a severe drought here right now, so people in Kenya are suffering. We have plenty of water here, thanks to huge rain tanks in the Tenwek compound that collect rain year-round, but we are praying for the Lord’s mercy and for rain!

Many adventures are being had here, from taking part in filtering the water (a chore they actually enjoy!), putting hammocks up in high places, and catching & keeping chameleons whenever possible. Please pray for these boys, for their protection and safety as they have much more outdoor freedom here. We are still navigating the boundaries, but they are also pushing those boundaries whenever possible. Behavior issues have been plentiful, probably due to the fact that everyone is still adjusting and processing this whole thing. Pray for wisdom in discipline and parenting, as we desperately need Jesus in that!

And these girls…they are so sweet, yet can also be so feisty. We have seen a side of Hannah that has been very interesting since being here. She is grasping for control. It is convicting, actually, as I know I tend to do that a lot also. I think she feels like her circumstances have been so out of control, and somewhat unpredictable, so she just grasps at whatever she can control, and then has a massive tantrum when she can’t! Anyway, we are just praying she will learn to cling to Jesus. And for Abby too. They are so young, but we are praying He captivates their hearts even now and that they learn they can trust Him completely.

School days…are sometimes spent partially outside. We are so thankful for the beautiful weather here. Very warm in the sunshine, but always a cool breeze in the shade. And it never really gets above 80 degrees!

We would love prayer for our school. Especially for these 2 boys. They have been struggling a lot, if I’m totally honest. Struggling to be motivated to do the work, struggling to be diligent, and showing much disrespect when they are challenged or disciplined. It is very hard.

This week we also celebrated Tom’s birthday. He was on call that day, but by God’s grace only got called away once after he got home, and it was after dinner. Hannah very much enjoyed frosting his cake with Stella and Joanne! And David and I had fun walking up to the local market to find a couple unique African gifts for him. We even found him some ice cream (thanks to some missionary friends)!

I am so thankful for my husband. He is working very hard here, and is challenged in many ways he has not been before–spiritually, emotionally, even physically. Pray for God to sustain him and give him knowledge and wisdom as he cares for many very sick patients with very little resources. Pray for God to guide his decisions, and ultimately for him to trust God to be the healer and to be sovereign over the outcome of every patient’s life. He has already witnessed more death here in 2 weeks than he has seen in the past 10 years. It is hard. But God is teaching us both in the process.

Lastly, pray for the many sick people being treated here at Tenwek. I was able to go up to the hospital yesterday for the first time. The conditions there astounded me. It is nothing like a hospital in the States. There are so many resources lacking. There are many deaths, yet God is also working miracles of healing there every day. This baby I was holding is named Faith Ashley. She is a premie, and she was abandoned by her mother. I wish I could hold her every day. My heart just breaks for the many babies up there, the nursery is very full. The kids and I are praying that little Faith will survive despite many odds against her, and that she will grow to be a strong woman of faith, as her name implies. We pray for healing for the patients, but ultimately we pray they would know the true Healer.

Tom and I are battling between the reality of the chaos of our home with 6 kids who are healthy and wild and living in their flesh much of the time (as are their parents at times too), and the reality of the suffering in this place and among the people of Kenya. We just want to be faithful to our callings. We pray that God would use us in any way He wills to further His kingdom in our home, and here at Tenwek. He is refining us all in many ways. Thank you for praying alongside us. To God be the glory!

Posted: January 28, 2017
Under: Family, mission, Prayer
By: Emily

Read Me