refining

Shifting shadows

“Holiness, holiness is what I long for. Holiness, holiness is what I need.”

These are lyrics to a worship song I can still remember singing at summer camp years ago. I didn’t know much of what it meant back then, but I knew it was true. Fast forward many years and on any given day I might start out doing pretty well. I have my quiet time with the Lord. I’m feeling filled up, ready to face the day, seeking to walk in holiness. Then a child slams into me as he chases his brother through the kitchen and my coffee goes down, a cup of milk spills off the counter and boom. I’m no longer feeling the holiness. I’m raising my voice and trying to catch up with the discipline that probably should have happened a few minutes before the spilling happened. I might be wishing my children would wake up with a little less energy, and would have attitudes like so-and-so’s kids probably exhibit all the time–loving, calm, and ready to help at any given moment (haha). I’m annoyed that this cleaning up is going to take a while, and actually involve some floor cleaner, and then I start shifting to all the things I need to get done after breakfast and I feel the anxiety rise. How can I possibly get anything done…? And how can I shift back to that place I was just a few minutes ago? How did I get this far into defeat in such a small amount of time?!

Or it happens with one of our children. They seem like they’re having a pretty good day, then something happens to change the course, something sets them off. Maybe they lost something or they ask to do a certain thing and the answer is no. Then, boom! They’re blowing up, raging about how we never let them do anything, how they’re never going to find the thing they lost and it’s all someone else’s fault, and by the way they don’t even want to be in this family anymore anyway. Wow! That can seriously happen in our house in a matter of seconds some days. It is mind-boggling. We sometimes just look at each other and say, “What just happened?!” In a split second, words are said, things are done that could truly damage a relationship and a heart.

We humans are just like shifting shadows. We can change with the wind, affected by the circumstances of the day. But thankfully our God is not like this at all. He is a Rock. He is unchanging. He is not loving one minute, and hateful the next. The Bible says his steadfast love never changes. His holiness is a sure thing.

So what am I to do? I long for the day that the ups and downs will be no more. No more tantrums (by adults or children) or discouragement or pity parties–no more sin–just goodness and beauty and truth forever! Until that day, I am learning over and over again the basic truth of anchoring my life to the One who does not waver like shifting shadows.

According to dictionary.com, an anchor can be defined as “a person or thing that provides stability or confidence in an otherwise uncertain situation.”

Holiness can be defined as “a state of being holy, set apart, dedicated or consecrated to God.”

In my every day moments I have to make a conscious choice to anchor myself and to be dedicated to the Lord, or else I am swayed every which way. It is through a series of seemingly small choices each day…a small choice to turn around a stressful moment with a gentle response or to exit the room if I need an attitude shift, or to pray. It’s the little choices to stay the course, and to stand on the promises of God and what He has convicted me of and called me to do. In my flesh I can give up in about 2 seconds (and I sometimes try to). I am so weak. In Christ, I have the strength to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). It’s countercultural and seemingly impossible, but only possible in Him.

So praise the Lord you and I don’t have to settle for this…

but can live a life of this…

anchored to the One who gives ultimate joy, peace and assurance, and leads in holiness that we desperately long for and need.

Posted: July 18, 2018
Under: hope, refining
By: Emily

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Double blessing

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes He gives us things we did not even ask for, did not even know we needed.

When we got back from Kenya, Tom needed a job. We were looking for something temporary, something basically to pay the bills & save for the year or so that we were here, until we got back to Tenwek. We searched hard for that temporary work. But God very clearly and firmly closed that door. Then we remembered a company he worked with a while back, thought maybe they’d hire him to do some consulting for a while. He went to lunch with a few people from that company, and then another lunch, and another. The rest is history. As God would have it, that was the start of launching a Christian, missions-minded pediatric practice (Triad Pediatrics) in the area we live in in North Carolina. It is a dream Tom has had for years, but not something he was actively pursuing since we realized our calling to Kenya. A dear friend & mentor recently deemed it our “double blessing.” God has called us to help with this local practice, and to serve Him in overseas missions. Both are important. Both are needed. Both have been laid before us clearly as God’s will for our family. And yes, it does seem totally crazy!

Maybe with a double blessing comes double challenges? I won’t lie, it has been A LOT of work to raise support, get our feet on the ground as new missionaries, AND help start a medical practice from the ground up, all in a year’s time. And we’re not done! God has provided in so many ways. The company Tom is working for is an immense blessing to us. God has provided the strength and energy we need in times of extremely overwhelmed moments. He has provided many people to encourage us and pray for us. He has provided reassurance that this is His plan, and peace that He will continue to provide and pave the way. It has been hard and discouraging at times to be in the unknown in so many details of our life, but we have never truly been left in need. God has and is meeting us right where we are, so faithfully. He is drawing us so much closer to Him and each other; He is strengthening us through prayer and His Word. If we didn’t have the valleys of this season, maybe we wouldn’t be as aware of or thankful for the mountaintops. It is in the challenges that we’ve seen and experienced God as our true portion and strength, our provider in every way.

To us, it’s a testimony of what God is doing in our lives, so we want to document it. His mysterious, sovereign ways are above all, good. May He receive all the glory for this double blessing. This is nothing we could do on our own. He knows the whole story, and every detail.

We’d appreciate your prayers for Triad Pediatrics to thrive and be a light for Christ in our hometown; we’d also appreciate prayers for continued provision so that we can get back to Kenya, to serve the Lord at Tenwek Hospital as soon as possible.

For more information on how to contact or support us, please click on our “Join the journey” page at the top.

Posted: June 18, 2018
Under: hope, mission, refining
By: Emily

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All because of Love

During the season of Easter we often stop to reflect, at least in some way, what it means. It comes every year. Ash Wednesday, Lent, Holy Week, Easter. Then we keep on trudging on. Or do we? Does anything change? Do we grow in some way each time it comes around? Do we catch a new glimpse of God’s glory and His truth? This year I don’t want to be the same. Our family might not have a Pinterest perfect Easter, with amazing crafts to display and a fabulous 5-course dinner to feast on, but if we walk into the Monday after Easter changed in some way by the love of our Savior then I consider that a victory.

Three things I’ve been thinking about that are changing me in this season. Maybe they will resonate with you too. Christ’s presence, His power, and His love.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b

The infamous passage from Matthew 28 deemed the Great Commission ends with this amazing promise. Jesus didn’t just command that we go into all the world to make disciples, teaching & sharing with those around us about the great truth of the gospel. He promised to be with us. This comforts me so much right now because God is revealing a lot of opportunities that I may not have seen a few years ago. Opportunities that I may have run from or ignored. But now I see that He wants me to run to them. There is no way I can do that on my own. Whether in our own home or with a crowd of people I’ve never met, nothing I do or say can truly have an impact for Christ unless He is with me. And with all the hard things in life, I could not survive without knowing He will never leave me. He is the constant. He is ever present.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…” Ephesians 3:20

His power. I am counting on His power. In the past few years it has hit me more and more how powerful God is. I tell my kids often, “God raised Jesus from the dead…that’s the most miraculous, amazing power you could ever imagine! And that power lives inside of us as believers!” Do I always live like that is true? No. Do I always walk in that hope? Not always. But oh, how I want to! There are many situations I am praying about right now that I just can’t see much hope in with my human eyes. But God’s power is real. It is Resurrection power. He can do anything. He is able. His will be done.

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” 1 Cor. 10:24

Last, but definitely not least, is His love. Love is what motivates everything God does. The greatest command He calls us to is to love Him–because He first loved us–and to love our neighbor. When he went to the cross, Jesus did not seek his own good. He did not command legions of angels to save him, but he could have. Instead he humbled himself completely. Because of love, He sacrificed everything. He loved, and loves, though we do not love in return. This Good Friday I am reminded again of the depravity of my own heart. I tend toward sin & selfishness. I am so prone to wander. Christ did not die on the cross to give me a happy, comfortable life, but to save me from the pit of hell, which I know might sound harsh but that’s the reality of where I’d be headed if I were to go my own way. And if He forgives me that completely, shouldn’t I seek to forgive others and put their good above my own? I fail daily, but I come back to His presence and power, because there’s not a chance I can love well on my own. He is love.

Lord, have mercy. Allow us to see your Resurrection power this Easter, your constant presence with us, and your amazing Love that saves and surrounds. Praise the Lord. He died for me, and for you. And He is Risen!

Posted: March 30, 2018
Under: hope, refining, the gospel
By: Emily

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