refining

The waiting…and HMA

Patience has been a word I’ve wrestled with over the years. Some well-meaning friends have even told me outright that I should not pray for patience…because then I might have a situation happen where I’ll need a lot of it! Well I don’t know if that’s really true, but I do know there are many lessons to be learned involving times of waiting, and that I can always use a good dose of extra patience.

Many of you know that we homeschool. God led us to homeschooling similarly to how he led us to foreign missions. Despite us! We never set out to homeschool, neither of us were taught that way, nor are we teachers by trade. But God. He called us to it about 7 years ago, and he has amazingly seen us through it ever since. If I am honest, I would say that homeschooling is one of the primary ways God uses to refine me and humble me. Every day. Enough said.

Seriously, schooling our kids is hard. Really hard. And not primarily because of academics. I truly believe that God equips us for everything he calls us to. I am praying for that equipping every single day, because I cannot do it on my own. And I can get seriously discouraged when I go through day 457 of seeing my boys veer off the path they know is right and instead throw things, wrestle, play and make a serious mess in the 10 minutes that I might be downstairs changing a diaper or taking care of some other quick necessity. I get discouraged. I feel like they’re never going to get into college, never going to have the character we hope for, never going to take responsibility and live for the Lord. It can get really serious really fast (in that 10 minutes)! But there is hope.

This is when I have to take a step back and realize that God is still on his throne. HE is bigger than all of this. He is bigger than my daily circumstances or challenges with my kids. He knows them better than I do. And He who began a good work in them will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6).

So this all relates to our mission work too. There are many details that need to be taken care of for us to get back to Kenya. We know God is faithful, and we trust He is good. How He is going to work out all those details still remains to be seen in a lot of ways. It can get stressful and we don’t always have answers to the questions people may ask, but we know God is leading the way and He will provide for all our needs.

One question we get often is what exactly is HMA or furlough, and is that what we’re doing right now? The answer is HMA literally means Homeland Ministry Assignment, and yes! We according to our mission agency, we are considered to be on furlough, or HMA, right now. That just means we are in a time of ministry here in the States, and we are in sort of a holding place for our mission abroad (in Kenya), waiting to go back when God’s perfect timing comes to fruition. The more practical details are that we hope to go back to Tenwek at the end of the summer, if we are fully funded and things here are in order for us to go.

So our overall goals on this HMA are pretty simple: be faithful to the Lord’s calling in our family and in this community where we live, and raise support to be able to go back to Kenya. We are constantly seeking God’s will and hand of guidance, and we pray that we would not be swayed or deterred by anything not of Him. We would appreciate your prayers too, and we thank you so much for your care and support of our family. We are open to speaking to more churches or small groups who are interested in our ministry, so please contact us if that is something you can help us with!

I close with some words of hope. Hope is a beautiful word that I am trying to set my heart and mind on this year. The great reminder that it is nothing of our own doing that is of any real worth or significance.

In this world that seems to be teetering on the brink of disaster any given day (in the broad sense and in our own hearts and homes), Scripture tells us we have a strong and unshakeable Kingdom.“We have this hope, a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul.” (Hebrews 6:18-19)

Christ is our hope. Praise the Lord!

Posted: January 24, 2018
Under: Family, mission, refining
By: Emily

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See?

I love soaking in the beauty of our toddler. While she can certainly destroy a room in mere seconds if left to herself, she is also just the cutest thing in how she is discovering the world. One of her favorite words these days is “See?” She’ll point to a tree out the window, say something about how it has leaves, and then say, “See?” Or she’ll get out a handful of band-aids, unwrapping each and putting them carefully somewhere on her body. “Boo-boo, Mommy, see?”

Sometimes I hear her say these things outright, and I say, “Yes, baby, I see.” Sometimes, though, she has to literally take my face in her hands as I’m distracted with something else and pull it towards her own to ask if I really do “see.”

True to His faithfulness, God has been showing me something deeper with that word “see” lately, and it’s really been more of a question: “Do you see the bigger picture?” Or maybe it is actually, “Do you see that you don’t see the bigger picture?”

There are so many moments in life where I want to get results right here right now. I want to see that thing happen. I want to see God provide. I want my kids to love each other. I want that person or relationship to be healed. I want this loved one to walk with the Lord…. I could go on and on and on. But the point is, I can get downright discouraged if I don’t see things I pray for come to fruition in a timely way (on my own timeline of course).

And then He reminds me, there is a bigger picture. There is so much that I do not see. I think I am learning that many times over right now. God is prompting me in those frantic moments when I want to see results. He is urging me to step back, to remember that there is such a bigger picture that only He can see. Even the super hard things that I hate watching others go through, or the ones I don’t want to go through myself, are part of this grand design. Part of His love for us. Part of His plan to draw us stubborn souls to himself. Even though I don’t physically see it, I sense him reminding me to lay down my burdens and questions, frustrations and doubts, and remember that the bigger picture is there. He holds the future in His hands. See?

Posted: November 28, 2017
Under: Adventure God has us on, Family, refining
By: Emily

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Being watched

Days are busy here. We’re thankful to be in the full swing of fall, with all the activity it brings. We are also thankful to now officially be “Missionary Disciples” with World Gospel Mission. We will post more details about that in the very near future!

Today I just wanted to ponder for a second what it means to be a follower of Christ in the world we live in. I have been studying Romans, and the first few chapters deal a lot with outer appearances and what they really mean. There is a lot of emphasis on the heart, and on our motives and actions lining up with what we say we know and believe.

In becoming a missionary, I feel like our family has shifted a bit into a place where we are “watched” more closely by people around us. It’s a little weird, I admit. I think if I were left to my own instincts I’d just be content to be in the background of life. But God has different plans! I am so thankful for the community and friendships that are growing through this adventure, but I do get uncomfortable when anyone says I’m a “hero” or they have no idea how I could take all my kids to Africa…again. Becoming missionaries definitely doesn’t make us super Christians. I am just like anyone else, with fears, doubts, and failures. Every day. I am a sinner in need of a Savior.

But I guess that’s where it hit me. Even if we don’t seek it out, there is a platform for Christians in these days. All of us. How do we stand for Truth, how to we respond to tragedy, how do we bring honor to God’s name among people who are desperate, people who do not know Him or maybe don’t even see a need for Him? Four words came to my mind as I thought about this in recent days. Love. Listen. Pray. Provide.

First, I think we have to love. We love because God first loved us. That is the heart of the gospel. God loved us so he gave (John 3:16)…his Son came to die the death that we deserve, in order to give us Life. It’s upside down. So, because of His love, even when we are wronged or hurt in the worst of ways, we can and should choose to love. Then we listen. Being a better listener is something God is really working on in me. It began in Kenya, I think, when I was faced with many situations where I just did not know what I should do to help someone. It always began with listening to their story. And I had to listen closely because often it involved some very broken English! I’m learning that giving a listening ear to someone in need is often a huge gift, and maybe it’s even just the catalyst they need to be reminded that God sees them, and he wants them to know he listens too. It takes time, and sometimes a bit of sacrifice, but it’s good to listen.

A third thing that God brought to my mind in regards to being His name-bearer on this earth is to pray. Pretty obvious. But do we really do it? I know I have been convicted many times, thinking I know I said I’d pray for that person but did I really do it? It’s helped me to sometimes just be bold enough (though it sure pulls me out of my comfort zone) to stop and pray with and for that person right then if the oppportunity arises.

Lastly, we provide. How do we know how to help someone? How to provide what they really need? I don’t know the answer to that. I’m learning and will continue to learn. But I pray that I would be authentic, not impulsive. That I would follow the Holy Spirit’s lead. He is not in a rush. He will show us what truly matters and when. And I pray that anytime I provide a physical or tangible need of some kind for someone that it would only be from a pure heart and motives.

Everything we do matters. Whether we see the effects now or a long time from now. I pray I would be faithful. May we all be faithful. He is faithful.

Posted: October 5, 2017
Under: mission, refining, the gospel
By: Emily

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