It has been humbling to receive the outpouring of love and support from our friends, family and our church. Humbling, and even a bit overwhelming. Every time another person offers that encouraging word or prayer, or expresses a desire to help, I feel overwhelmed that they care so much. I am so thankful. But I have to admit, sometimes I almost want to look behind me and say, are you sure you’re talking to me? We’ve never sought out the spotlight. In fact, maybe it’s come from insecurity in some ways, but I’ve usually gone out of my way to stay pretty private about our life. Something a dear friend said to me when we were questioning starting this blog has stuck with me. She said, “This story resonates with people. Normal people don’t do this!” Ha. I don’t know if we’ve ever felt too normal. But even as we are getting ready to take our family halfway across the world, we definitely feel a sense of peace and confirmation that it is absoutely what God wants us to do.
Another humbling–and sometimes painful–reality is that the Lord is shedding something in us. He’s stripping away many things we’ve been clinging too tightly to in our lives. He is asking us to sacrifice our comfort, our time, our “normal.” He is teaching us to lay it all down. When God brought us true confirmation that going to Kenya is what we were supposed to do, He brought to life some lyrics to a song that keeps coming back to my heart when I have doubts or questions about the future. It’s a song called, “Lay me down,” by Chris Tomlin. I won’t write all the lyrics here, but just a few that really have impacted me in the past 6 months.
With this heart open wide…I will bring a sacrifice.
Letting go of my pride
Giving up all my rights
Take this life and let it shine
Lay me down, I’m not my own
I belong to You alone…There’s no life apart from You
Lay me down, Lay me down
It will be my joy to say: Your will, Your way…always
Our family is not superhuman, or even superspiritual. We definitely have our issues…lots of issues. We are in process of being refined by our Lord and Savior. A process of sanctification that all believers walk through. He is bringing us this “bigger picture” outlook on this life right now. I pray it is more of an eternal outlook, one that will imprint on our children as well. I desperately desire to have a more eternal outlook! As I said, sometimes it’s really painful. It requires sacrifice, and a laying down of our pride and selfishness. I pray we will just have eyes to see and ears to hear what the Lord is doing, that we will not be bogged down or distracted by the temporal, and that we will participate in His saving mission both to us and to the world.
