This Wild Journey

Two years ago, at this time of year, we were in the middle of our 6 months in Kenya. We were experiencing all the ups and downs of culture stress, busy with the hospital and community of Tenwek, while also being given the unexpected blessing of caring for a newborn orphan in our home. As I reflect on that time, I am reminded that the Lord was teaching me so much about what is truly important. He was refining me to weed out my comfort that I so often cling to, and my illusions of control. He was showing me that His kindness doesn’t mean things always work out just the way I think they should.

Fast forward 2 years. Here we are. On the verge of getting back to serving the Lord in our calling to Kenya in just a few months. It has been a longer journey than we thought, with many unknowns still in the mix, but God continues to show me what is truly important. He is worthy.

As I sit here on a cold day in April, the fireplace going, my kids pouring over a mountain of library books nearby and the hum of the dishwasher running…what is truly important is that He is worthy. He is worthy of me giving Him my full trust, my whole self, my ordinary and not so ordinary days.

I’ve learned so much about God’s character this past year, deep things about his love and mercy and compassion. I know this has been a time of true preparation. I could be tempted to think we are not real missionaries yet. It doesn’t really count to sit here in comfort in North Carolina. And yet…it does. He is refining us all. I can’t explain it sufficiently, but He is welling up in my soul just how worthy He is, how nothing else truly satisfies or even matters aside from knowing Him and making Him known.

There are fears I have about getting back to a place of vulnerability that comes with living and serving overseas. Though I know it’s not a thing to dwell on, there is an ache I feel sometimes when I think about the unknown hardships we will certainly face. We all have those aches in our soul, the longing for things to be easier or better or right. Yet I know our sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that our God promises to reveal as we yield ourselves to His will and calling.

So this Easter week, from perhaps a more outwardly “comfortable” spot on this side of the ocean, I find myself wanting more and more just to share how awesome Jesus is and how great is his mercy. That He is truly worthy of all blessing and honor and glory.

There is no other way to be saved…and we are a people desperately in need of saving. 

*Here are a few poignant lines from Andrew Peterson’s song, Is He worthy? Hearing it again the other day is what prompted me to write down these thoughts.

Does the Father truly love us? (He does)

Does the Spirit move among us? (He does)

And does Jesus, our Messiah hold forever those He loves? (He does)

Does our God intend to dwell again with us? (He does)

Is He worthy? Is He worthy?

Of all blessing and honor and glory

Is He worthy of this?

HE IS!

Attitude over aptitude. This is of importance when it comes to language learning, and it came to the forefront these past few weeks as we went through some training on how to learn a second language. Maybe it all has to do with perspective. I may not feel I can learn another language, but if I believe I can (and pray a lot), I will be able to do it. If I have the perspective of why I’m doing it–to love the people we’re going to serve–then that might make all the difference.

Maybe a lot of things in life could benefit from some perspective shifting. I’m not talking about simply mind over matter-type stuff, but instead rooting out the things that are swirling around in our minds, exposing them, and then zooming out for the bigger picture of truth.

I’ve learned what a difference that can make as I relate to God. He is teaching me that He is so much bigger. Bigger than the blip of time that is today, bigger than the instant we can finally say, “we have plane tickets to Kenya,” bigger than all that goes on from now to then and everything after that too. When I fix my gaze only on what’s going on around me, I tend to see what’s missing or what’s wrong. I tend to focus on what I don’t understand. When I look at who God is, I see His magnificence, His all-sufficiency, His great faithfulness throughout the ages. I look at Him and my concerns seem to shrink. He made the universe. He holds it all together. When I zoom out and remember this perspective, it is a lot easier to see that the Lord can handle all the problems the world has to offer. He can handle my circumstances. I know He is working it all together for the good of those who love him.

This truth seems so simple, and yet so profound. If only my perspective could shift in everything. How I relate to people, how I pray for people, how I spend my time…eventually how I will learn Swahili 🙂 When I zoom out and get more of God’s perspective, I experience a transformation in my attitude and my heart. Jesus is on the throne. He’s always been there and He always will be. His timing is always perfect. His ways are always good. His love is always sure.