This Wild Journey

Sowing seeds

This is a time of waiting in more ways than one. I think if we counted, we are waiting on at least 10 practical things to happen before we can get to Kenya. And then there are the heart things. I’m learning that maybe our souls are always waiting. We long for certain things to be different. We long for things to be made right, be made whole. We long for our prayers to be answered. I think that longing and waiting are ok. It is not easy, but it gives us a glimpse of our true longing that God has placed in our hearts, for eternity.

Sowing seeds in the form of love and the gospel is a lifelong pursuit for a believer. It is a lifelong pursuit for a Christian parent. Sometimes there is no fruit to be seen. There is not much evidence of their belief. There is no effort on their part to pursue further truth. But we wait. We wait and we pray and we trust. I’m not very good at that. But God keeps teaching me.

He is reminding me that He created the farmer, the farm, the dirt, and the seeds. I get to play a role on His farm, but He is the One who has all the wisdom, and knows exactly how to bring the good harvest. The role I play in my kids’ lives is important, but the Lord writes their stories. I’m wrestling with that these days. I see small glimpses of hope, but that big picture still sometimes looks pretty bleak on any given day. So I give them over to Him again. I thank Him for each of their unique lives, and for their strong personalities, and for the role we get to play. And I pray and wait some more.

Lord, may you be the author and perfecter of our faith, of each one of our children’s faith. And may I be content and faithful to (imperfectly) sow the seeds, water them, and leave the growth to You alone.

Posted: November 19, 2018
Under: Family, hope, mission, refining
By: Emily

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Love and Understanding

I thought of titling this post, “desiring to love…struggling to understand.” That seemed a little long, and a bit wordy. But that about sums up parts of mission life, I think. Why do we do this? Why do we follow Christ to the ends of the earth to share the gospel? Because of love. We love God and we love people. How do we do this? How do we enter in to places we do not know and cultures that exist in such depth? We try (or struggle) to understand. We try to meet them at their place of true need.

We are currently at the half-point of our month long missions training. Wow. We have been on quite the roller coaster of an emotional and spiritual journey these past 2 weeks. It has almost been culture shock to be faced with all the things we have not thought deeply about regarding other cultures! We have been convicted of our own ethnocentrism, and reminded that even though we don’t mean to do it we often regard ourselves as ‘more than’ just because we are American, or even because we are Christians. We often don’t truly see the needs of others. We often assume they think just like we do, or if they don’t then they should. We often try to jump in and fix things that might not need to be fixed, or at least not in the way or timing that we think. This can apply to serving overseas, and even in other cultures here in the U.S.

I have to admit I like my comfort zone. I like being able to predict at least a few things. So, I’m being stretched out of my comfort (yet again) and realizing that I still have much to learn. God is the Creator of culture. He designed the different peoples, tribes and tongues of the world. All cultures are fallen, but they are also beautiful. I pray I can be the learner God wants me to be, and approach this whole world leading not with my great amount of knowledge & resources, but with an intent to love and a desire to understand.

Posted: October 21, 2018
Under: mission, refining
By: Emily

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Quiet confidence

There are seasons of life. There is time for action. For speaking out. And there is time for reservation. For stillness. For quiet confidence. I admit I tend to love those times of action. Give me a list and I’ll check off those boxes and feel great doing it! Give me an idea of some truth to say, I’ll speak it, always with good intention of course (wink, wink). But through many mistakes, I’m learning that there are maybe more times than I like to admit for quiet confidence, for the strong faith that doesn’t have to be seen or heard by anybody, and for prayer.

We have asked for prayer a lot these past 2 years. We are speaking to people all the time who want to pray, and then they may ask what else they can do to help. We are so grateful. But what if prayer was enough? Is that ok to say? I struggle to believe it. So often, I pray…and then try to figure out a way to act. Maybe something I say will make a difference, maybe something I do. Definitely I think God calls us and leads us to act and speak in many different circumstances. But maybe He also wants to do a giant work in our lives and hearts in the quiet confidence of praying boldly and big, and then leaving the prayers at His feet. Not having to act or speak at that moment. Maybe He is reminding me to take time to just let my faith grow.

I’m learning that it doesn’t depend on me. I’m a vessel that God can use. But it’s HIM. He works. He acts. He speaks. It feels freeing to know that. I can be available to act and speak, but also rest in knowing that there is One greater than me who actually holds all things in place.

We all have big things to ask of God. Some tangible, circumstantial things, some that are more hidden, heart things. Sometimes we ask for ourselves, and many times for other people. He knows. He hears. And He is sovereign over it all.

Please continue to pray as the Lord leads you, for our family to learn all that God is teaching us right now, for us to be able to get back to Kenya in God’s perfect time, and for us to have that quiet confidence in all things that God is working for our good and His ultimate glory.

Asante sana (thank you) 🇰🇪

Posted: September 30, 2018
Under: Family, hope, mission, Prayer, refining
By: Emily

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